How Is It November?

I seriously don't know how this year has gone by so quickly! There's a part of me that wants and needs time to slow down...as in come to a screeching halt, so that I can get Christmas shopping done and they myriad of other things that I need to get done, done. And yes, I know it's too early to be panicking about Christmas, but with the way things have been this year, it'll be December 23rd and I'll say "oh shit, christmas!" The bigger part of me wants it to just be 2016 already because I hate this year. Not that January 1st 2016 is some magical date where everything will suddenly become better. It's a completely arbitrary date, but there's something about the collective mindset of the world of regrouping and refocusing and shifting thoughts to the positive on that date that I think helps everyone to readjust attitudes. It's STAYING with that attitude despite the numerous challenges we inevitably face every year instead of focusing on "well this ruined what was supposed to be a better year for me." I'm speaking only for myself here and how this concept applies to me. The fact is...bad things happen. There's never going to be a year where you make it 365 days without some sort of tragedy or snafu or mindfuck. But it's about somehow learning how to not get sucked down the rabbit hole and I guess accepting that these things are inevitable...I guess that's the first step. I feel like I'm slowwwwwly on the way there but damn is that ever a long process to figure out.

Tomorrow is day 1 of my dad's chemo treatment. It'll be a long day. I'm sleeping at my mom's tonight so that I can take him in the morning. We need to be there for 7:30 and they told us to plan on spending most of our day there. We have NO clue how he's going to react to it which is the scariest part. He might be fine and he might be terribly ill after. It might work and it might not work at all. They're using two different chemo drugs on him. When he's done with chemo, I have clients to see from 4-8 so it'll be a loooong day tomorrow. But I'll make it through. And when I'm done I can come home and crash and watch crap TV and read and play on the internet and take a hot bath and I don't have anything to do on tuesday until work at 3, so I can sleep in :)

In other news, I need this new Grimes album to come out NOW!!! She released another track off of it called "Scream" and it couldn't be more different than the first single which has grown on me more and more and more and I'm in love with it. Haven't been this excited about an album in a long time :) I love how eclectic this album is going to be and I love that Grimes defies the idea of genre music and just writes whatever she wants and puts many different types of music on an album that are all completely different yet somehow go together perfectly and are essentially her. I want to go see her show here so bad. It's been a life goal of mine to see her live but I have clients scheduled for that night and they're new clients that I don't know if I can reschedule :/ We'll see how things work out.

I was talking to Debi about this the other day in an email...I tend to turn to music whenever I'm going through rough times. Tori Amos has been the musician who has gotten me through the roughest times of my life...for some reason, it's specifically been her UNDER THE PINK album going back to my junior year of high school. Grimes has done that recently, mostly because I've just happened to be listening to her a lot recently. Do you ever listen to a song that you've listened to a hundred times and because of the situation you're in, hear it differently than you've ever heard it? That happened to me on my way to work while listening to Oblivion the other day. It's one of her most well known songs. She wrote the song after being sexually assaulted in order to help overcome the trauma it inflicted upon her. It's undoubtedly helped many and it did the same to me the other day when I was listening to it...I don't know that Claire was talking about her physical health or her mental health when she wrote these lyrics...she's been open about having physical health issues in the past and not always taking the best care of herself but she tries. But I really HEARD these lyrics the other day in this song:

I need someone now 
To look into my eyes and tell me 
“Girl you know you’ve got to watch your health”

And it really brought tears to my eyes...for her and how personal those lyrics are, for myself and how much those lyrics resonated in many different ways, for my dad, and for so many other people that I know and for just being thankful that she put those lyrics out there. We all need reminders like that and she gives it to us there. Take care of your physical health and your mental health. It's easy to forget when you worry about so many other things. That's usually the first thing we ignore sadly. Ok...enough rambling. I'll leave you with the video for Oblivion because it's an awesome song :)